Cause my paralyzes and pains got too threatening and to avoid a paraplegia, I had to undergo an upper spine-surgery on Monday 8th of June. I thought I was on track again ...
But on Friday I took an ordinary walk and my right leg slipped due to dusty dry earth and my legs and the rest of me slipped downhill, several meters. I know from Ninjutsu how to fall, and I don't have any outer injuries inspite of rolling over several times ... However some hours later I realized, paralyzes started to return and incredible pain in legs, arms/hands and ... in the upper spine.
Had a horrifying dream (at least I thought it was "just" a typical drama-queen-dream) of how one of the implanted cages was breaking into my vertebral body and dangling on the other side. Well, it wasn't just a dream but a vision as has shown in hospital.
So I will need another spine-surgery on Friday 3rd of July and a long recovery time with my new "stiff-neck-friend". Seems, that, after all, I had a lot of "luck" ... I was told today, this fall could have easily been my last or have led straight into tetra-/paraplegia.
Anyhow ... wishing I had not chosen to take a walk last Friday.
This is the power of fate and now I know what the "Blasted Oak" in my Greenwood-reading was trying to tell me ... a (too) late insight however ... ;).
In terms of blogging and composing ... please bear with me, light a candle here and there for my smooth recovery, if you feel inclined to do so ... hoping to survive and recover soon, YES!
Also, I do not know how to pay my upcoming bills, as due to Corona and now due to my spine-problems I was/am not able to perform live-music, -poetry and -rituals nor give readings ... but I do have a lot of additional medical bills to deal with. I'd be grateful if you could support my survival with a donation! After my recovery I will be more than ready and happy to continue working for you ... that is providing readings/counselling/lectures and of course blog-entries. This however will require some time and homepage-updating, which won't be possible for me at the moment.
Please send your donation via Paypal.me or via the button below:
Photos © Ann-Uta Beißwenger 2020: 1. Taken from Greenwood-Tarot by Mark Ryan and Chesca Potter 1996. 2. AnU with stiff-neck-friend 2nd of July 2020
Wo bist du?/Weaving my pain ...
Song-poetry-style with some alternative flavors ... This composition has been "a homework-project" for my recent academy-course ... It tells about how strong emotions, in this case "love", impairs our perception and creates weird expectations in others ... the bilingual text wants to emphasize the feeling of being torn between love ... and longing for the other to return .... and the disappointment and frustration of the own inner worlds, that lead to search for somebody outside of ourselves to cover and hide emotional wastelands within ...
The basic piano-sample was given by our trainer Jeff (my credits go to him). Each of us had to compose something "out of it", meaning we were free to do with it whatever we wanted .... changing pitch, sound, adding effects ... instruments .... etc.
So this is my "personal version" ...
Please note and respect: Lyrics, Vocals, Synth, Loop-and Sample-Arrangement/Mix © Ann-Uta Beißwenger 2019
Zurück zur Übersicht